I have been a nurse for 7 years. For 2 of those, I was a labor and delivery nurse. I did love it at first but quickly tired of "epidermals", babies having babies, playing referee between 3 men who thought they were the "baby daddy", and rooms that smelled like a fish market (KID YOU NOT!). Desiring to work with kids, I switched hospitals and went to work on a Peds Hematology/Oncology unit. I LOVED IT! Finally..kids that ARE kids! Most say, "How sad!" No! Though these children are battling cancer and other chronic ailments, they enjoy life by playing in the playroom, drawing pictures for the nurses, and telling their story. Just ask 'em..they'll tell ya!
Somehow, though, after two years I wanted a bit more variety and decided to become part of the hospital's HOP which means I go to EIGHT different peds units (NNICU, Peds ER, Peds Cardiology, Infant/Toddler Unit, Peds Med/Surg, Peds Hem/Onc. and 2 different nurseries). Whew! I've been busy.
Here are some interesting peeps I've met along the way. Sometimes I chuckle to myself and sometimes I just shake my head and wonder.
I had a 2 year old sassy, very articulate, cancer patient and one evening I was helping to change her Pullup. We were cutting up and kinda did a roll my eyes thing as we talked. She looked at me and full of attitude said, "Ooooo...don't you cut yo eyes at me!" Same patient, another visit and her new baby brother was in the room and I asked what his name was, she said, very matter of factly, "Stankuh." She was also notorious for going into the hallway when the group of docs would round utside of her room and look at the male attending (the boss) and say, "Come here, boy!" What a little pistol!
"Lateesha", 25 years old, came in for a labor check. We were discussing how girls her age have already had 2, 3, maybe 4 kids. I told her I was proud of her for holding off until now. She responds, "Yeah, I'm surprised I didn't have no baby before diss cuz I like to F#$K too much." Oh, gross...thanks for the info. A little later we were talking about how some girls have babies to increase their welfare check and she interrupted to say, "Yeah I think das ok." Oops..sorry...missed your IV..gonna have to try again.
"So, what are you gonna name the baby?", I asked one family. "Rashaun, cuz that's French." Oh ok.
I was checking a laboring mother's blood pressure with the automated machine which made a humming sound as it inflated. As it did, Dad looks at me and asks, "Is that the baby growling?" Yes, he is very angry and wants out of there now!
I was helping a doc do a procedure on one of my peds liver failure patients. The doc ordered Ativan to help decrease the child's anxiety. (Sidenote: The relationship between Mom and patient was an interesting one in that they frequently teased each other.) I pushed the drug in and said, 'Ok, are you seeing those pink elephants yet that we talked about?" She looked around and said "Yeah, right over there!" and pointed to Mom who was wearing pink sweatpants. Hmmm...was it the drugs talking?
Last but not least, we had a seemingly normal couple laboring in one room. Well, the father of the baby (FOB) kept visiting another patient in a different labor room. Can you guess why??? Well, if not, here was his answer, "Oh, that's my other baby momma." Now I've heard it all.
Well, that's the stories for tonight, kiddies. Keep checking back for my next installment. Maybe tales of docs missing deliveries? Happens more than you think..even though they are right down the hall. Perhaps a list of names I see posted on nursery beds and patient doors. That's a good one. Tell me..how do you pronounce "Shithead"?
Somehow, though, after two years I wanted a bit more variety and decided to become part of the hospital's HOP which means I go to EIGHT different peds units (NNICU, Peds ER, Peds Cardiology, Infant/Toddler Unit, Peds Med/Surg, Peds Hem/Onc. and 2 different nurseries). Whew! I've been busy.
Here are some interesting peeps I've met along the way. Sometimes I chuckle to myself and sometimes I just shake my head and wonder.
I had a 2 year old sassy, very articulate, cancer patient and one evening I was helping to change her Pullup. We were cutting up and kinda did a roll my eyes thing as we talked. She looked at me and full of attitude said, "Ooooo...don't you cut yo eyes at me!" Same patient, another visit and her new baby brother was in the room and I asked what his name was, she said, very matter of factly, "Stankuh." She was also notorious for going into the hallway when the group of docs would round utside of her room and look at the male attending (the boss) and say, "Come here, boy!" What a little pistol!
"Lateesha", 25 years old, came in for a labor check. We were discussing how girls her age have already had 2, 3, maybe 4 kids. I told her I was proud of her for holding off until now. She responds, "Yeah, I'm surprised I didn't have no baby before diss cuz I like to F#$K too much." Oh, gross...thanks for the info. A little later we were talking about how some girls have babies to increase their welfare check and she interrupted to say, "Yeah I think das ok." Oops..sorry...missed your IV..gonna have to try again.
"So, what are you gonna name the baby?", I asked one family. "Rashaun, cuz that's French." Oh ok.
I was checking a laboring mother's blood pressure with the automated machine which made a humming sound as it inflated. As it did, Dad looks at me and asks, "Is that the baby growling?" Yes, he is very angry and wants out of there now!
I was helping a doc do a procedure on one of my peds liver failure patients. The doc ordered Ativan to help decrease the child's anxiety. (Sidenote: The relationship between Mom and patient was an interesting one in that they frequently teased each other.) I pushed the drug in and said, 'Ok, are you seeing those pink elephants yet that we talked about?" She looked around and said "Yeah, right over there!" and pointed to Mom who was wearing pink sweatpants. Hmmm...was it the drugs talking?
Last but not least, we had a seemingly normal couple laboring in one room. Well, the father of the baby (FOB) kept visiting another patient in a different labor room. Can you guess why??? Well, if not, here was his answer, "Oh, that's my other baby momma." Now I've heard it all.
Well, that's the stories for tonight, kiddies. Keep checking back for my next installment. Maybe tales of docs missing deliveries? Happens more than you think..even though they are right down the hall. Perhaps a list of names I see posted on nursery beds and patient doors. That's a good one. Tell me..how do you pronounce "Shithead"?
7 Comments:
LMAO!! Raushaun...sounds French to me. Girl, I'm off to a very long day of class and then extra credit lectures. This was exactly what I needed -- starting the day off with humor is so much better than just dreading what lies ahead. :) luv ya!
"Oops..sorry...missed your IV..gonna have to try again."
LOL LOL LOL!!
You just cracked me up with those stories. I can believe it! Nothing surprises me anymore-but still great for a chuckle. :)
Great stories! That's some funny stuff, there. I'll have to check back here for more. You're right, I guess we each make the interest in our own lives.
Baby names. . .my aunt's a nurse in AR and they had twin baby girls in the hospital named Virginia and Vagina.
Also a baby named Female, pronounced fuh-mol-ee. They thought the hospital had named her, so they just kept it.
Wow! Other baby momma? How convenient for him that they were laboring at the same time. I'd like to miss his IV a time or two...or maybe put in his foley?
Too funny. I visited my friend's Labor and Delivery room this week and we had the TV on ESPN. A nurse came in and said that it was appropriate that we were watching ESPN because the dad of one of the babies that was born in that room named his child Espn (because he likes sports so much).
The baby growling killed me!
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