What? Do I stink or something?

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Really? Many consider me a "best friend"? I sure don't feel that way lately. Perhaps, I just have too much time on my hands. I don't know, either way, today has been an introspective day. To find out why, visit MySpace and read my blog titled, "I've Got a Friend Who Loves Me." Go ahead, I'll wait. Back? Pitiful, little sob story, huh? I have these days where something I hear, see, or smell will trigger memories of the past. Sometimes, they send me on a path lined with feelings of jubilation and thoughts that I have had such wonderful experiences then there are times I veer off course and head towards "self pity", thinking "Those were good times, why did they have to end?" Right now, I'm on the path of self pity.

Aww...poor me....noone calls me to go out or just say hey--I've heard the gammut of excuses with this one: "You're married", "You work nights and I don't know when you sleep", "We didn't think you'd go there", or "You wear purple and I hate that color"--just kidding with that one, but that's how trivial it sounds to me at times. My cell phone has never been one to blow up and ring off the hook with friends just wanting to catch up or tell me the latest gossip..that's the story of my life..I'll say.."Did you hear Sue and Joe broke up?"--yeah like a month ago! WTF? Sometimes it feels like I am the last one to know things, hear about and get invited to events. My husband and I joke that noone ever comes to our house, which is true, but we are halfway being serious..passive aggressive maybe? I try not to take it personal, but sometimes it's hard not to! Hell, I can't even get but a couple to do bulletins I post on MySpace..and we all know how deep those are (wink, wink).

It's all just a funk I am in. Sometimes I do feel like I am struggling to "fit in" and be included with my friends. Am I not fun enough? Do I challenge people too much? Am I too much of a thinker? I am 27 years old..shouldn't I be at peace with who I am and past all these feelings of self doubt? That's ok, Ben and Jerry are always there for me when I need 'em and know just how to make me feel better!