Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, just know that I LOVE BEING A NURSE! Now, that being said, on with my story...
Being a nurse, you know you are dealing with highly emotional and stressed out people. You expect to be verbally thrashed at times. As a new nurse you are completely taken off guard the first few times this happens, tear up, run out of the room, and say "They don't like me." After a year or so, the skin gets a little tougher and you are more confident in your skills and experience to forge ahead, no matter the reaction.
I work in a highly emotional specialty...pediatrics. I take care of babies born too early, cancer, transplants and other surgeries, asthmatics, sickle cell disease, heart issues, etc. You name it...I deal with it. Parents are stressed b/c they are scared and kids are stressed b/c, #1, we are constantly asking them to do something for us...pee in this cup, hold out your arm so I can draw blood, take this medicine, lay on your right side and don't move for 6 hours, etc. and #2 they are scared, also.
More often than not, nurses take the brunt of verbal abuse. I have heard from the mouths of babes, "You are mean", "You like hurting me", "I hate you" and I've even heard the "F" word out of a few. They lash out at us and that's ok, no offense taken. I understand, they are scared.
What's harder to take is when it's from a parent/family member. Especially a parent/family member that you have an established relationship with and have been working with for days, weeks, and sometimes years. This is when it once again stings and takes a moment for you to put what is happening into perspective.
A little background for my upcoming story...there is a bone marrow transplant tomorrow. To prepare for this, the child has already received mega doses of chemo over the last week or so, total body irradiation, permanent lines being placed, EKG's, and sometimes other unforeseen procedures. The night before transplant is when "the move" takes place. The child is placed into a negative pressure room (room that doesn't allow outside air in) and that's where they remain for the next 30 days or so. Usually, they bathe before they go, get a cloth dressing (we call it a t-shirt dressing) over their IV line, and move on over. Everyone, except the patient, wears gloves and masks into the room. Nothing is brought into the room unless it can be wiped down with a special antigerm spray. It's an intense time for patients and families.
Now that the background has been established...one of my tasks tonight was to prepare my patient for her bone marrow room. My tasks were: 1. Get her bath done and 2. Remove her IVs from her hands. Already that night, she endured 3 unsuccessful sticks to her Port-A-Cath (under the skin IV that is accessed with a special needle) in her chest b/c it wouldn't work earlier and it needed to be working before the needle could be left out for good (we don't leave them accessed usually b/c it requires a tape dressing and they shouldn't have tape on their skin). After all that torture, I gently told the family about what the plan was in getting the patient from point A to point B...bath and remove IVs. I can see a cloud come over gramma's face and a verbal tirade ensues. The stress that has been building up over the past few weeks pours out. Sure, it stings. I am a little taken back, but I remind myself that it's the stress talking. It does no good to try and defend my actions or justify any false accusations that she's making. Just listen...that's my job in this moment.
There is no class that can teach you, as the nurse, to deal with the frustrated families and patients. You just know in your head that it's not personal (most of the time) and you are the easiest person to vent to b/c you are the messenger or the performer of many of the dreaded procedures. Ever hear, don't shoot the messenger? A lot of "shooting the messenger" goes on in the nursing world.
Often, after tempers subside, apologies and hugs are offered by the family or patient. Explanations of upcoming procedures are even better received after all the stress is released. I am not yelled at often, but when I am, I remind myself to take a breath, listen, and remember it's not me they are attacking. Stress is an ugly thing and I can't imagine going through what any of patients and families are having to deal with. Kudos to all my little kids dealing with situations adults can barely handle and hugs to all my frazzled mammas and daddies (and other caretakers)!
Being a nurse, you know you are dealing with highly emotional and stressed out people. You expect to be verbally thrashed at times. As a new nurse you are completely taken off guard the first few times this happens, tear up, run out of the room, and say "They don't like me." After a year or so, the skin gets a little tougher and you are more confident in your skills and experience to forge ahead, no matter the reaction.
I work in a highly emotional specialty...pediatrics. I take care of babies born too early, cancer, transplants and other surgeries, asthmatics, sickle cell disease, heart issues, etc. You name it...I deal with it. Parents are stressed b/c they are scared and kids are stressed b/c, #1, we are constantly asking them to do something for us...pee in this cup, hold out your arm so I can draw blood, take this medicine, lay on your right side and don't move for 6 hours, etc. and #2 they are scared, also.
More often than not, nurses take the brunt of verbal abuse. I have heard from the mouths of babes, "You are mean", "You like hurting me", "I hate you" and I've even heard the "F" word out of a few. They lash out at us and that's ok, no offense taken. I understand, they are scared.
What's harder to take is when it's from a parent/family member. Especially a parent/family member that you have an established relationship with and have been working with for days, weeks, and sometimes years. This is when it once again stings and takes a moment for you to put what is happening into perspective.
A little background for my upcoming story...there is a bone marrow transplant tomorrow. To prepare for this, the child has already received mega doses of chemo over the last week or so, total body irradiation, permanent lines being placed, EKG's, and sometimes other unforeseen procedures. The night before transplant is when "the move" takes place. The child is placed into a negative pressure room (room that doesn't allow outside air in) and that's where they remain for the next 30 days or so. Usually, they bathe before they go, get a cloth dressing (we call it a t-shirt dressing) over their IV line, and move on over. Everyone, except the patient, wears gloves and masks into the room. Nothing is brought into the room unless it can be wiped down with a special antigerm spray. It's an intense time for patients and families.
Now that the background has been established...one of my tasks tonight was to prepare my patient for her bone marrow room. My tasks were: 1. Get her bath done and 2. Remove her IVs from her hands. Already that night, she endured 3 unsuccessful sticks to her Port-A-Cath (under the skin IV that is accessed with a special needle) in her chest b/c it wouldn't work earlier and it needed to be working before the needle could be left out for good (we don't leave them accessed usually b/c it requires a tape dressing and they shouldn't have tape on their skin). After all that torture, I gently told the family about what the plan was in getting the patient from point A to point B...bath and remove IVs. I can see a cloud come over gramma's face and a verbal tirade ensues. The stress that has been building up over the past few weeks pours out. Sure, it stings. I am a little taken back, but I remind myself that it's the stress talking. It does no good to try and defend my actions or justify any false accusations that she's making. Just listen...that's my job in this moment.
There is no class that can teach you, as the nurse, to deal with the frustrated families and patients. You just know in your head that it's not personal (most of the time) and you are the easiest person to vent to b/c you are the messenger or the performer of many of the dreaded procedures. Ever hear, don't shoot the messenger? A lot of "shooting the messenger" goes on in the nursing world.
Often, after tempers subside, apologies and hugs are offered by the family or patient. Explanations of upcoming procedures are even better received after all the stress is released. I am not yelled at often, but when I am, I remind myself to take a breath, listen, and remember it's not me they are attacking. Stress is an ugly thing and I can't imagine going through what any of patients and families are having to deal with. Kudos to all my little kids dealing with situations adults can barely handle and hugs to all my frazzled mammas and daddies (and other caretakers)!
4 Comments:
I fell in love with your blog the first few minutes I read it. This entry proves that your blog is a total keeper. I absolutely love your blog.
I feel sorry for you nurses though! We families can be such pains in the bootay. : x
Brandi
ps Thank you for bidding on my blog, I had too many requests and finally made my friend pick one for me. I hope you bid again, and I will be coming by here again soon. : )
Thank you for visiting my site.
I just wanted to say thank you on behalf of all of the parents ...I for one know how hard you work and the dedication that you show is nothing short of being an angel.In the whole 8 months that Tony battled to stay alive we were shown nothing other than kindness. Even after he died, nurses from Bristol travelled the 250 mile round trip to pay their last respects. I will forever be indebted to them all for the support that they gave us.
Love Sharon x
I feel sorry for nurses too; you guys put up with a lot, ranging from the sick patients to doctors who may be too egotistical for their own good (yes, there are good ones around too). I can't imagine doing the work you do, espeically dealing with young kids and babies. A friend of mine is an infant transport paramedic, and he tells me some really bad stories of infants dying during transport. He deals with it really well, and that's amazing.
My wife is a pediatric critical care nurse here in Texas. A lot of this post rang true with what she's gone through in her 4 years now working in the PICU. What you didn't speak much of that totally blew me away is how much drama surrounds these kids above and beyond their illnesses. It can't be a coincidence that some of the sickest kiddos have the most f'd up parents. It's just sad. Really really sad.
I think the cases that get me the quickest when she talks about them is the non-accidental traumas. There's a special place in hell for people that treat their children like that.....
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