Have you ever loved someone so much it makes you cry? Have you ever been do disappointed by that person that it makes you cry? Yet, at the same time, you are crying b/c the dream of seeing their life play out...the way you know it can...is dying? The person that you love unconditionally and want to see successful is screwing up their life and you don't understand why? You think about how that person's decisions are going to affect the rest of their life and you just care about them so much you are terrified and you want to help so bad, but they can't see through their own anger to realize that you are just trying to help. They have their own hurts and screwed self perceptions (or more appropriately, a screwed up sense of how THEY think THEY are viewed by others) that they can't accept that you are crying to them, begging them to just hold on
and get through this for one more week. They are unable to see that this conversation and the words dripping with concern are an act of the deepest CARING and not TELLING them what to do, calling them a failure, or comparing them to others. So, have you ever loved someone so unconditionally that you endure biting remarks and words laced with blame? Have you ever been so disappointed that it turns into anger and tears of anger and disappointment burn you cheeks? I have and among other things I'm dealing with...feel like I am sinking and just need someone to throw me a flotation device. Sometimes, I need help keeping my head above water, too.
Have you ever loved someone so much it makes you cry? Have you ever been do disappointed by that person that it makes you cry? Yet, at the same time, you are crying b/c the dream of seeing their life play out...the way you know it can...is dying? The person that you love unconditionally and want to see successful is screwing up their life and you don't understand why? You think about how that person's decisions are going to affect the rest of their life and you just care about them so much you are terrified and you want to help so bad, but they can't see through their own anger to realize that you are just trying to help. They have their own hurts and screwed self perceptions (or more appropriately, a screwed up sense of how THEY think THEY are viewed by others) that they can't accept that you are crying to them, begging them to just hold on 
and get through this for one more week. They are unable to see that this conversation and the words dripping with concern are an act of the deepest CARING and not TELLING them what to do, calling them a failure, or comparing them to others. So, have you ever loved someone so unconditionally that you endure biting remarks and words laced with blame? Have you ever been so disappointed that it turns into anger and tears of anger and disappointment burn you cheeks? I have and among other things I'm dealing with...feel like I am sinking and just need someone to throw me a flotation device. Sometimes, I need help keeping my head above water, too.
9 Comments:
I sometimes feel this way about my brother. I see him just slipping further and further away from me.. he's 30...still living at home with my parents... still living like he's 12 years old... dating tons of girls... living from paycheck to paycheck... it's tough.. :(
I've definitely been there. You always hope that someone, somewhere, knows of the good you're trying to do (even if the intended target can't see it).
Just like how in movies or TV shows you see a character do something wonderful for someone else, even though that other person will never realize it. But we, the audience, realizes it.
That's my hope... that at least maybe there's an audience out there who can appreciate it.
sorry to hear that u r in deepest pain. Yes ive been there, done that. It turned my life upside down. And it was really painful. The tears keep on falling.
All u need is to cry your heart out, its one way of releasing the pain...
be brave girl..
I think what I was trying to say, but didn't exactly know how to word it at the time, was that I am sitting back watching someone with such great potential and awesome talent screw up the ONE thing he will need to set his life in the direction it needs to go. Not only is he putting his future in jeopardy and potentially making it harder on himself to be successful, but he's blaming others for mistakes he has made. That is tough to watch and leaves you feeling robbed of something you know could've been so easily obtained.
*sigh* Far too many times, I could have written that same post. We often feel the most hurt from/for the people we love the most.
My hope (and the one belief I must keep to salvage any sanity) is that one day, the truth will be seen.
My raft is pretty shabby looking, from all of the use it's had, but you're welcome to hop aboard!
Yes... painfully, yes.
A life without empathy would be far more hurtful.
Thinking of you as you watch this unfold.
Big hugs...
I wasnt surprised! i know you have a very serious emotional side too :-)
Oh my god, you just described the way I feel about my husband sometimes! It's amazing to see that I'm not the only person in the world who feels this way about someone they love. I try to talk to him out of concern, he refuses to discuss it, and it turns into an utter nightmare of blame. Thanks for sharing, I can so relate to your problem.
To live in a Universe that everything vibrates and is constantly moving and we all are effected by all free will choices, it is painful to be the one closest to the vibration of a flailing soul who has put stars in your eyes. When the soul is loved from your heart of hearts, and you know that control has to be released to allow growth to occur--it can be a double edged sword. Yes, I too have feelings... I'm a mother.
---- Your Mom
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