My Knight in Shining Armour

Well, a few weeks ago I found out that my husband is leaving me. No, not leaving me in that way. His company is sending him over to Kuwait to receive the government vehicles they been working on. I suppose we should be flattered that he was "handpicked" to go over there. He will only be gone for two months, staying in a nice hotel, and will be able to contact me. Back in his military days he was sent out at a moment's notice, no promise of communication, and for an indefinite amount of time. I do not envy military spouses and do not miss those days.

As I was driving back from a modeling job today, I was thinking about what I would miss about him being gone. I will obviously miss his handiness around the house and the fact that I always have someone around to laugh and talk with. More than that though, I will miss how feminine he makes me feel everyday. In a world where women are supposed to be strong, independent, and "I don't need no man", I enjoy being able to be what the world would consider, weak, with my husband. I can fall into his arms and cry, feel safe and secure, and know that he doesn't look at me like I am pathetic or feel burdened.

I also can admit to him that I do not know how to fix a toilet, change a flat tire (sorry, I just haven't learned that skill), change the oil in my car, or hook up my DVD/VCR to my T.V. He doesn't look at me as stupid or helpless. These things are just not something I have ever needed or wanted to learn. I enjoy being a girl and feeling like my husband is my "Mr. Fix It" and "Knight in Shining Armour." I don't find it degrading or oppressive. If I ever wanted to learn that stuff, he would be right there to teach me (and I suppose I should learn how to change a tire). However, I enjoy being able be the damsel in distress at times and needing him as a man. We all know that as women, we are fiercely strong and could handle just about anything on our own, but sometimes don't we just want that hero to swoop in and save us?? Let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, women love to feel sexy and feminine and men love to feel manly and that women still want them as their "Knights in Shining Armour."

Surprise! I DO have feelings!

Have you ever loved someone so much it makes you cry? Have you ever been do disappointed by that person that it makes you cry? Yet, at the same time, you are crying b/c the dream of seeing their life play out...the way you know it can...is dying? The person that you love unconditionally and want to see successful is screwing up their life and you don't understand why? You think about how that person's decisions are going to affect the rest of their life and you just care about them so much you are terrified and you want to help so bad, but they can't see through their own anger to realize that you are just trying to help. They have their own hurts and screwed self perceptions (or more appropriately, a screwed up sense of how THEY think THEY are viewed by others) that they can't accept that you are crying to them, begging them to just hold on and get through this for one more week. They are unable to see that this conversation and the words dripping with concern are an act of the deepest CARING and not TELLING them what to do, calling them a failure, or comparing them to others. So, have you ever loved someone so unconditionally that you endure biting remarks and words laced with blame? Have you ever been so disappointed that it turns into anger and tears of anger and disappointment burn you cheeks? I have and among other things I'm dealing with...feel like I am sinking and just need someone to throw me a flotation device. Sometimes, I need help keeping my head above water, too.

A Wonderful Week of Memories

I know I live in Charleston and the beach is only 30 or so minutes away, but you kinda get spoiled having it as your backyard for a week. Of course, it may the fact that I don't work when I'm out here, I don't have the responsibilities of house keeping, there is a constant flow of friends, and time just doesn't exist. I feel completely at peace out here and just feel like I have found my little corner of the world.

So, I am sitting here on the couch, drinking the last Corona and thinking back on the week. Sunning on the deck or by the water's edge, dinners at Planet Follywood, conversations and Yuenglings on the screened in porch, watching the wind carry the kite surfers down the coast at a brisk pace, playing ball, jumping waves, and laughing as the Danes dig furiously in the sand, and just enjoying the sound and smells of the ocean.

As I wait for the couch slipcovers to dry, the house is quiet except for the hum and tumbling sound of the dryer, whereas 24 hours ago at this time it was bustling with the laughter of friends, the clinking of ice in the cocktail mixer as Appletinis were concocted, and the roar of NASCAR on the t.v. I was blessed this week to have many friends filter in and out and enjoy the world that I love so much. I hope they walk away with the same sense of peace and relaxation that I do. We return to the "real" world..back to paying bills, wondering what's for supper, and of course, back to work.

We always have this place, the memories, and of course, we always have each other.

Luckily, I get to do it all again in July....for a month! Folly Beach...I love it!

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things About Folly Beach

1.Locals refer to Folly Beach as "The Edge of America."

2. Folly Beach is a nesting site for loggerhead turtles and each year their nests are marked off.

3.Front beach houses are to leave their lights off at night b/c when the baby turtles hatch their instinct is to follow the moonlight to the water...a porch light just may confuse the poor little guys.

4. The Folly Boat sits on the side of the road and always has a new message painted on it by the locals. It was washed ashore in 1989 by Hurricane Hugo.

5. My mom and family painted the Folly Boat for my wedding, "Happy Nuptials!" For my rehearsal dinner, we had an oyster roast and Frogmoore stew(shrimp, polish sausage, corn on the cob, new potatoes..all thrown together and steamed..mmm..good) at a local restaurant on Folly..an excellent way to show the out-of-towners my hometown and a local tradition!

6. The Folly Beach Pier extends 1,045 feet into the ocean. Whether it's a romantic walk, dinner, shopping for souveniers, or fishing your interested in...you can find it here.

7. It is against the law to cut, destroy, or break the sea oats! No walking on the dunes please!

8. Folly Beach has a huge erosion problem and therefore must be renourished every so often.

9. In summer 2005, the renourishment was taking place during our vacation out here.

10. They had a dredger in the ocean and had a HUGE pipe that pumped sand from the bottom of the ocean and dumped it on the beach and bulldozers pushed it around and built the beach back up.

11. We walked each day to where they were pumping it and watched them build up our beach. They were about a 1/2 mile away from our house while we were here and kept getting closer..by the time we left in August we could see them from our house. By September, they were right in front of our house.

12. I am blessed to have a generous Bonus Dad that shares his family's beach house and has been doing so since 2000. We started vacationing with Mom and Bonus Dad getting 2 weeks to do our thing and now get our own week AND share their time...up to 3-4 weeks with them now! Woo hoo!

13.This is my most favorite place in the world and feel like I have found my niche in the world!





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"Yeah, my husband is gonna want that dent fixed.."

The lady that hit Cole called our house. She stopped by Mom and Bonus Dad's house last night and Bonus Dad about got mad at her until she said "I cried and cried about hitting that dog" and then he gave our home number and said, "They are responsible pet owners you shouldn't have a problem." So when we stopped by our house today, this is the message we received on our machine:
"Hi, this is (insert name here), the lady that your dog ran out in front of. I got an estimate on the damages to my car and just wanted to get together so we could get this thing taken care of. My number is...thanks, bye."
So, I called her back (I figured this would be a good lesson in patience and humility for me). She answered:

Her: hello?

Me: Hi, Mrs. (insert her name here), This is Chana (I said my last name).

Her: (silence)

Me: This is Chana, the one with the dog...you hit

Her: Oh yes...I'm glad your dog is doing ok, I was so upset, but he just ran out in front of me and there was nothing I could do. I would never want to hurt an animal. {Well, thank God she added that b/c I thought she may go around hitting dogs for fun.} I got home though and saw the dent in my car and got so angry b/c this car is new and only has 4,000 miles on it.{ok, it took all I had not to say are you f'ing kidding me??}

Me: Uh-huh...{silence}.....ok, well, whatever, you said something about an estimate.

Her: Yes, I have the estimate and just want to get together and show you guys so we can get this taken care of. I don't want to put it on my insurance b/c I don't want my insurance to go up b/c this wasn't my fault. {WTF??...it wasn't anyone's fault....it was an ACCIDENT...and YOU hit MY dog and I haven't asked for one cent for medical bills...had this been a child this would be completely different...might as well be a child though...he is MY child..my hubby and I=no kids}

Me: Uh huh...whatever....tell me the figure and i will get with insurance. We are on vacation until Sunday so we will have to get back to you.

Her: Ok, the damage was estimated at $998.72 from Norton-Richardson in Summerville. We have been taking our cars there for years and they are good {like I really care about the work they do} but if your insurance wants me to go somewhere else then I will {damn right you will..do you have choice if you want it paid for?}

Me: Uh-huh, ok well, we'll see. We may want Star Motor Service to look at it b/c my husband used to work there and we are tight with the owner and may be able to get a different estimate, but we'll see.

Her: Ok. This is a new Inifiniti (like I care?) and it's not going to be cheap to fix.

Me: {I was steaming by this point and calmly but in a very hard and slightly sarcastic tone said}..Well, Star works on Mercedes so I think that you'll be ok.

Her: ok.

Me: Ok then...we are on vacation so we'll talk to you when we get back.

Her: ok...look forward to hearing from you.

Yeah, it was a good lesson for me. I was a good girl..surprised??? Insurance is handling it from here. I so want and wanted to say something to her...but I'm not going to..I'm just going to let it be...but if I ever see her again...Lord help her and her car. New Infiniti...who cares? Why do you even throw that tidbit in there? Like I really care about the car...my dog is a living, breathing thing with staples in his leg, road rash, and a scraped up booty. I just said "uh-huh" alot and got off the phone..insurance said I did good. I am proud of me, too.

Folly Beach: The Edge of America

We arrived at the beach on Saturday around 3 p.m. It was nice and sunny but very windy. We had some parking issues at first b/c my bonus dad's niece was using the house as a parking spot for her beach party. After some rearranging, we fit everybody's cars in. Always room at the beach!
Two of my friends came out and we walked the dogs on the beach and let them galavant through the water and chase sand (as Atlas can be seen doing on his blogspot in the March archives). Later that evening, we had a perfect beach dinner of grilled steak and chicken, twice baked potatoes, salad, and beer and/or wine. Great conversation and great food. It was all very delicious.
Sunday morning we greeted the world around 9 a.m. and hubby and I took the boys on their morning walk. We had to leave to drop a vehicle at the airport for the the parents upon their return from their Truks diving trip. We left my two friends to bask in the sun and enjoy doing nothing. Couple hours later, we were back and I joined my girls on the deck. Apparantly, at some point, they had fallen asleep and forgotten to turn over for an hour and a half b/c the front of their bodies were a little toasty looking. Yeah, that's gonna hurt! We laid out for a bit more until the clouds starting to roll in and the breeze got a bit chilly. Thank goodness for a screened in porch! Our friends left around 6...one had to work..and the other had to check on her kitty, Slinky. Hubby and I walked the dogs...as we do every evening around 6 (after May 1st dogs are only allowed on the beach before 10 a.m. and after 6p.m...although it's a bit easier this early in the season to get away with staying out a bit late in the A.M. or going out a bit early in the P.M.). A leisurely night of a low key dinner of left overs and watching "Desperate Housewives" and "Grey's Anatomy" (can you believe Preston got shot...what a way to end the show!!!) followed.
The storm clouds continued to roll in and we got a good bit of rain last night and a bit here and there today. It's overcast and there is a nice breeze blowing..a bit chilly, but lovely for a nice relaxing day reading/writing on the screened in porch. Though I like to lay in the sun, I am not a huge sun worshipper so I enjoy days like today. Porch sitting weather as I call it. My usual habit is to get my water(or other beverage of choice), my book (and computer this year), my phone, some chapstick, a radio, and my pups and park myself in the swing on the porch. I watch, listen, read, think, etc. Beach vacation is always a decompression time for me. Alot of reflection time and I am able to sort through things so easily out here. Although I am in my hometown, I am away from work and responsibilities of MY home and I just feel SO relaxed (not that my life at home is that hard either...but I don't get to stare at the ocean and do nothing all day when I'm there either!).
So, here are some pics. I took them this morning. This is what I see when I look out from my porch and from the end of our walkway. I love it and this is where I feel most at peace. Nothing can bother me here.

Off to the beach!

I am off to the beach! I am sure that I will not have internet out there. I know our house doesn't have it...and unless someone has a wireless I can tap into while we are there...I will have to save all stories for when I come back. So, it's off for sand, sun, and fun! See you when I get back!

Happy Thursday Thirteen!

Thirteen Things that Made me SMILE/LAUGH this week!
1. I got an unexpected night off from work on Sunday. I spent that evening watching my t.v. shows with the hubby, Cole, Atlas, and Chaz (brother/mom's dog).
2.Though Cole was hit by a car, he is ALIVE and WELL and doing awesome. He greeted me with a happy face and a wagging tail this morning when I got home from work. Sweet boy! Walking a little tenderly, but all is well and I think he even learned that the road is not somewhere he should run out into!
3. Watched the Numa Numa Dance over and over last night with the girls at work and we laughed and laughed. If you haven't already seen it...click on it and watch this guy! He is freakin' hilarious!
4. My contest for my renter, Rant Cafe, went well (scroll a bit and click). I had a good many entries and was never more excited to give away credits that I surfed so long to get!
5. I watched the movie "House of Wax" while I was working out and Paris Hilton died in it...speared right through the head. Is that wrong to smile about that??
6. Getting a "Get Well Soon" note for Cole from my cousin. Always makes me smile when someone loves my doggies too.
7. Receiving so many comments on my "Girls Gone Wild" and "Cole vs. Car..Cole Wins" post. I love comments. Thank you to all who showed Cole some love!
8. Anticipating a night out with friends tonight...good friends, sushi, good friends, Trickknee, beer...did I mention good friends?
9. Found out that a friend of mine from high school...also a boy I had a crush on...moved back here with his new fiance. I can't wait to see him again and meet his girl!
10. Looking forward to a night out with friends..yes, another night out....on Friday for a farewell dinner for a co-worker. I love going out with friends! Friends and family rock!
11. Thinking about waking up on Saturday morning at the beach house, looking out the window and seeing beach and ocean in front of me. Walking the dogs on the beach, sitting on the porch all day reading or lying in the sun. Whatever I want to do b/c I'm at the beach and time doesn't exist!
12. Hubby may get a raise! More money..always helpful!
13. The sweet smile of our 13 month bone marrow transplant patient. Even not feeling well, he was just smiling and showing some love!
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Cole vs. Car..Cole wins

I am letting my "son" guest blog here tonight. I have 2 Great Danes..see them here. I do not have 2 legged children, nor do I intend to, so my two boys and my 5 cats are my furkids and my world!

I had a scary day today. No, it wasn't about me for once, and I didn't have to visit the vet, but Cole did. First some background....As you all know, Mom, Dad, Cole, and I are housesitting for my grandparents. The house is the second house on a very non-busy cul-de-sac. We are surrounded by marsh, a bird sanctuary, and undeveloped house lots. The only traffic we get is from cars turning around in the cul-de-sac or some boaters heading down the dirt road to the landing. Cole and I enjoy our off the leash walks every morning and afternoon when we are there.Well, today, Mom was still sleeping (b/c she worked last night and had to again tonight) and Dad came home from work at 4 and took us on our walk. We went out the garage and there was a dog across the street that Cole just had to go say "hi" to. Well, bad timing, b/c there was a car coming also. She had no chance to stop and wound up hitting Cole. The lady walking the other dog told Dad, "She wasn't going that fast, " and the lady who hit him stopped to see if he was ok. He got up and limped over to Dad and he had some blood coming from his butt and a cut on his leg. Dad rushed into the house, told Mom, and loaded Cole into the truck. As dad was loading him into the car, the lady that hit Cole came back to the house, pulled into the driveway behind the truck, and said, "I just wanted you to see that I have a dent in my car and my husband will probably want it fixed." Mom was outside getting me in the house by that time and you should've seen the look on her face! I think it took all her patience to keep her mouth shut. Dad calmly said, "Ok, whatever, we will be here to the end of the week", she left, and Dad continued on to the vet and had to leave him there for evaluation.An hour later, the vet called and said Cole's x-rays were fine, the blood from his rectum was from a really bad scrape, his laceration was stapled, and his only worrisome injury was that he was peeing blood. Could be a ruptured bladder, but he seemed to be holding urine in it and wuld probably be ok. He stayed a little longer for eval and Dad went at 6:30 to pick him up. By that time he was enjoying his pain medicine and his urine had cleared up. He is home with me, sleeping soundly. He has a bandage to his leg and his booty looks raw, but I am glad he is here with me and screw that woman's car being fixed, my brother needs fixing first!

Girls Gone Wild!

For this story, imagine the picture reads "The difference between girls at Downtown Wild Wings and North Charleston Wild Wings."Dowtown would be on the left. Ok, now..on to the story. I went out to the North Charleston Wild Wings on Thursday night to watch Trickknee play. Not only do they rock, but my friend is in the band and he's hot. Anyway, I'm sitting there with my girlfriends enjoying the music and occasional conversation when we could hear each other over the music and the group of girls behind us hoopin' it up. Picture homegirl in the above right pic in tight, low cut capri jeans with a gold metallic belt, her muffin top hanging out, and a top that says "You're Just Jealous" and her friend in some kind of halter top with saggy boobies and no bra, who kept announcing how "fuck up" she was. I knew it was just a matter of time before they started dancing with their hands over their heads, wiggled their butts, and yelled "Woohoo!" I didn't have to wait long. They even did the girl on girl dancing for us. I was waiting for the "Girls Gone Wild" cameras to swoop in at any minute. They were primed and ready! Oh! but wait! Ladies, there was a show from Mr. Chippendale himself that night! Blonde hair, blue eyes, and all of 5'4" taking it all off just for you! What? You didn't want to see his blinding white skin, man boobs and beer keg belly??
Fast forward to Cinco de Mayo. First off, we started our night with dinner at Sr. Tequila..a lovely little Mexican joint in West Ashley (the in between N. Charleston and dowtown area). Before we left for downtown, I headed to the bathroom and already at 10 pm someone was crying and professing their love for some boy they broke up with months ago. "He's my heart!", I heard. "Well do you want to risk your nursing license on that guy, he steals prescription drugs!" Yeah, this night should be good. Onward to Downtown Wild Wings! I was thinking..ok, downtown..more sophisticated crowd. HA! College crowd and business men! What do you think comes from that mix?? Yep, the phrase "Did you see that?" comes to mind. Where there's alcohol, there will be lower inhibitions. And there she was...about 30 minutes into the show giving a show of her own. Yeah, she was cute, petite, slender, put together well, but she might as well been saying, "I'm fuck up!" She belly danced on stage, used the lead singer's microphone stand and a support column as a stripper pole, danced on the bar (several times), and even did that "bend over and touch your toes" move that Usher and Ludacris are fond of. I felt like I should go give her a dollar or something. Of course, she wasn't the only one. There were the girl on girl dancers, the older lady in the tube top dancing with the guy who thought he had the moves, the girl flapping her arm like a chicken (still trying to figure that one out), and the guy doing the "bend over and touch your toes" move. Ewww...I am sure at one point in my life I was "that girl" that everyone said "Did you see her?" Thank God I am a bit older and wiser and see how ridiculous these girls look. Alcohol makes you do some crazy stuff and in your mind you think you look damn good doing it! Well, I'll tell ya....throwing your hands over your head, wiggling your butt, and yelling "Woohoo!" is not as sexy as your drunk ass thinks! And for all of our sakes, keep your clothes on!

It's Thursday Thirteen again!

Thirteen Things songs that I love and the memories/thoughts they provoke!
1. "Winter in July" by Sarah Brightman--not only does this woman have a gift of a beautiful voice, the song is musically and lyrically beautiful. You can listen to it over on my MySpace. "Future dreams can never last, when you find yourself still living in the past.....Make the best of what's given you, everything will come in time, why deny yourself, don't just let life pass you by, like Winter in July."
2. "Summer Place"--reminds me of so many memories..days spent at Mamama's, my brother standing on my dad's feet while he danced, dancing with Dad at my wedding (he even took dance lessons with me and learned to waltz!)..uh-oh, tears are threatening
3. "Taking You Home" by Don Henley..my first dance with my husband at our wedding..even though Don wrote that for his child, the words still spoke to both of us
4. "The Phantom of the Opera" as sung by Sarah Brightman and Michael Crawford--I heard this song for the first time when I was 13 and learned what Broadway was. From that moment on, my biggest traveling dream was to get to NYC and see "The Phantom of the Opera." Finally, for my 4th wedding anniversary, at the age of 25, I sat with my husband in the Majestic Theatre, tears in my eyes as my dreams were fulfilled. Awesome show! And I love the movie!
5. "Sadeness", "Voyageur", "Boum, Boum, Boum", etc. by Enigma--ok, this music is just hot and erotic. Need I say more??
6."What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong--pretty much sums up how I feel, no matter how cynnical I can be at times due to being jaded by people's attitudes or things I experience at work...I look around and marvel at the gifts that God created for us!
7. "I Hope You Dance" by Leanne Womack--not one for country, but Mom played this at my wedding after she did her toast and it just reminds me to never sit on the sidelines or get cynnical or jaded against the world.
8. "Time of Your Life (Good Riddance)" by Green Day--I dedicated this to my brother at my wedding and we had our dance to it)(the only time I cried at my wedding!). I was 9 when he was born and got to share in the joys of raising him.We are really close and I love him so much. I had never lived away from home up until the time I got married (I was 22), so my leaving the house was an adjustment for both of us. Oh no! More tears! I cry everytime I hear this song.
9. "Carribean Blue" by Enya--always reminds me of our beach house vacations
10."No More Tears" by Ozzy Osbourne--told you in my profile I have very eclectic musical tastes..I love the bass guitar and music in this song, also reminds me of my Junior year in high school, particularly, rides to school with some girl I can't remember her name and the guy I was dating.
11. "Power of Love" by Hughie Lewis--my dad and I used to go to see all the "Back to the Future" movies together. Everytime I hear this song, it always brings up the memory of us loving these movies and watching them everytime they came on the t.v.
12. "Right on Track" by The Breakfast Club--again, a daddy memory..he used to listen to this record alot and I just remember we both loved this song.
13. "Good Mother" by Jann Arden--reminds me of a friend that I had in high school and for a brief moment in my adult life. She was my soulmate friend and this song is one that we heard and looked at each other and said, "That's you!" at the same time. We had an intense mental connection and hopefully one day will be able to get our friendship back. The full story can be seen at MySpace and scroll to "I've got a friend who loves me."

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If these 2 can do it.....

I promised myself that I wasn't going to post on the immigration thing. What's my reason, you ask? Everyone else is saying enough about it that I don't feel the need to add my two cents! But, I saw this picture and thought, "Okay, if these two animals of different species can get along....or sometimes just tolerate one another...then how come humans can't follow suit?" We are always demanding respect, demanding rights, demanding fairness and equality..demand, demand, demand! Has anyone heard of working and earning what you want and treating others as you would like to be treated???? I am just not getting the selfish attitude of people these days. The attitudes that we are all "owed" something from someone. Get educated, work, and earn it. Quit living off the system and free hand outs...the government is not here for you to mooch off of. I don't know how many times I have been asked for free car seats("I'm sorry, don't you have 5 kids already..what happened to THOSE car seats?"), free taxi rides from the hospital to home (when somehow they found a way TO the hospital), parents of children asking for free meal trays/meal tickets for themselves OR have heard from their mouths, "I'm milking this for all I can." WHAT???? Yeah, I was actually told by a laboring mother (when I worked Labor and Delivery) that, "It's ok to have babies for a check." After 6 years of nursing, I'm still amazed at some of the things I hear and see. ER is the worse place for it. ER=EMERGENCY ROOM! This may come as a surprise to some, but being unable to take a crap is not an emergency, people! Don't take your kid to the emergency room at 1 am for constipation and eye drainage b/c you don't want to go to work! THAT can wait 'til the doctor's office opens! But, I digress...back to my original topic. If these 2 in the pictures can seem to get along and tolerate one another, I do believe that those of the same species should be able to follow their example. Sure, I'll tolerate your presence in my life. Just don't ask me to change my national anthem. Don't ask me to make special accomodations for you b/c you chose not to learn your new home's language. This is America, we speak English, we appreciate you wanting to be here and all and recognize your impact...just get legal, learn English, pay taxes, and don't ask for us to modify our culture. And as for the ones who are Americans and mooching off the system and feel that they are still owed something, Quit having babies, get an education, and get a damn job!