An Intervention

I broke into a cold sweat and my hands got clammy. I could feel that panicky, sick feeling start to grow in my stomach. There it was! Oh! the horror, don't look! "Limited or no connective ability" the screen so coldly displayed. How could this be? I was just surfing the internet 10 minutes ago! What ever did I do to deserve this! "Baby," I said to my husband, "what's the matter with the internet?" "I don't know," he calmly he said, "my computer says the same thing." He went back to what he was doing, no concern for the fact that withdrawal symptoms would soon be setting in for me. "Um...I think you should see what's the matter and fix it," I tried to calmly say. "Ok, in a minute," he returned. "I think you should call the provider," I urged. Sensing my panic, he got up, got the phone, flashed me a "it's a good thing you are cute" look, and called the provider. I patiently awaited his return as I watched my computer try to connect to the internet and come up with that same answer, "Limited or no connective ability." Finally, I heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. "So, what's going on?" I asked. He looked at me and gravely said, "I'm sorry, we did all we could, but we couldn't save your wireless router, it's died. You are going to have to directly connect to the modem or be without internet." Gasp...without internet??? Are you kidding? I gotta have my internet! Stunned, I looked at him with a very puzzled expression and cried, "How did this happen? It was fine 10 minutes ago! I was surfing, blogging, sending emails, and now it's just gone? Like that?" Being the internet junkie I am (mostly to surf for credits), I gathered my laptop and walked up the stairs. I hooked into the cable modem. Ahhh...there it is..connection established. My insides calmed immediately. Whew! I never want to feel that way again.
Though I am with internet now, my X'd out antenna at the bottom right corner still blares at me as if to say, "Ha! You wore me out! Now you're stuck at this desk!" After a sufficient grieving period, we will get a new wireless, but for now I'll have to do my surfing on a leash. Perhaps, this loss of wireless is all for the best. It was getting too easy to be on the internet, anywhere and everywhere, I could surf for credits. Time to step back into the real world!

Thursday Thirteen!

Thirteen Things that I look forward to

1. Vacation at the beach house with Mom and Bonus Dad....4 weeks front beach! Sit on the porch, soak up some rays (if it isn't too hot), walk the dogs in the morning and the evening, eat when and what we want, have a cold beer or glass of wine as the breeze blows and the sun sets...it's wonderful!

2. Coming home in the morning after a hard night's work and walking up the stairs to be greeted by 2 very happy Dane boys...tails a waggin' and happy grins! Watch out when you let them out of the gate! Let them go ahead of you on the stairs!

3. Friday nights...date night!

4. South Sundays! My mom and bonus dad "adopted" a Japanese man that is an avid pool player and a talented sushi and regular chef. He often goes to their house on Sundays and he whips up a little somethin'! Yum!

5. My husband coming home at the end of the day or just for lunch.

6. Gramma's "tickles" when she's in town..the light brushing of her fingertips over my back, arms, legs...a tradition since I was a kid...better than a massage!

7. Goddy's jokes...my dad's dad always has a new joke to tell..and they are pretty funny, too!

8. A Gala gathering: complete with dinner, dessert, Appletinis, and POKER!

9. Taking my Danes to the Bark Park and watching them play with dogs of all sizes and watching Atlas swim and try to coax his brother Cole to "come on in!"

10. Birthdays! I love to celebrate anyone's birthday! Thank God we're here to see another year!

11. Opening Yahoo! mail to see if I have any comments on my blog, signing on to MySpace to see if I have any comments or messages...I know, a little bit sad! Simple pleasures?

12. My Mamama saying, "I know you do!" when I say, "I love you."

13. Seeing what each new day brings my way!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

No Drama Mammas Please...

I try to keep a positive outlook on life. I really do. Sometimes, however, my self pity gets the best of me and I am down in dumps, for whatever reason. I know my life isn't all that bad and I actually have it pretty easy. Perhaps that's the reason why I have a hard time coming up with posts sometimes.

I don't invite drama in life. Never really have. I have never been in the "he said-she said" crowd and really don't know what to do when I do have a dramatic moment. It's like I'm stunned and think to myself, "If I don't move, it won't see me and will pass right by." I just don't need a crisis in my life in order to feel important. I have watched many friends of mine create drama on purpose in order to have something going on in their lives. Oye vay....no thanks!

I have noticed, in my blog surfing, that posts revolving around drama get the most attention. Makes sense, right? Soap operas have been around as long as they have for a reason, right? Can you imagine living a soap opera life? I think I would be 500 pounds just from all the stress eating!

Eh, whatever, I will just have to keep writing on my little life that I have carved here on the coast of South Carolina and hope that someone appreciates what I am sharing!

What time of day are you?

It's actually quite funny to me that I am a sunrise. When I wake up in the morning, I am not quite as bright and cheerful as one might think a sunrise should be. Just ask my mom and husband! Allow me to hatch before you ask me any questions that require more than a grunt for an answer, please!

It is true, I don't like getting up with the sunrise (unless it's my beach house vacation), but I often get to see the sun rise when I am at work and looking out a patient's window. In the children's hospital, our rooms look over the river and the city below. As the sun rises, it kisses the water and causes it to blush, casting a gorgeous orange glow over the buildings and waking up the city. I hope that I am like a sunrise in people's lives, a slow and increasing light and warmth. Nothing sudden or forceful.

I thought this was a really true perception of me. I especially love the last comment! It is so true that I look at life as I have it now and am so grateful for what I have been blessed with! Life is what it should be right now...it is what it is!

Check out this and other quizzes at BlogThings.

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Tale of Two Princesses

Imagine with me, if you will, a pale, bald headed little girl, draped in a pink blanket, sitting in a big hospital blanket watching the Miss USA pageant while I am untangling the IV lines coming out of her arm. Just 10 minutes ago she was able to see her gramma's gentle smile and feel the warmth of her touch. Now, isolated from the outside world for the next 30 days, she sits and watches as I, Gramma, and Auntie fuss over her, trying to get her clothes on straight and tuck her blankets properly, all the while, our expressions hidden beneath masks and our caresses filtered through the rubbery feel of nitrile. She has already asked if her gramma could please take off the mask b/c she doesn't look like herself.

After TRYING unsuccessfully to console her, I tell her, "Gramma can at least look through the window of the door without her mask", and move on to my next tactic..distraction. Everyone is making small talk about the pretty girls on the T.V., only to fall silent when Miss Georgia comes on for her question. Not sure what made us listen to her, but I'm glad we did. "What do you think men could learn from women?", she is asked. Ha! That inspired a few comments from this peanut gallery! We catch a bit or all (I'm still not sure) of Miss Georgia's answer, "Women are strong....we've been walking around here in high heels all week....C'mon, seriously", she says. I catch the implication she is making and I look around at the two women with me and say, "Was that her final answer, is she kidding?" Although I can't see it, I'm sure their jaws have dropped like mine. Basically, she is telling the judges and America that men can learn how to be strong from women b/c we walk around in freakin' high heels and are uncomfortable for beauty???? Are you kidding me? Here I am preparing a FIVE year old and her family for a life changing bone marrow transplant and Miss Georgia is talking about women being so strong b/c we "endure" high heels, push our breasts up in bras, bleach our teeth to blinding shade of white, torture our hair into a style that is just-so, and put on makeup? ------->

Whether she meant it that way or not, her comment could not have come at a more appropriate time. Yes, appropriate. It made me think how shallow people really can be. Here is a little girl that has overcome more obstacles in her 5 years than any adult I know! She can only hope to be "so strong" as to wear high heels, coupe her hair, step into a beautiful dress, put on makeup someday! Oh man, it still peeves me to think of Miss Georgia standing there with her perfect hair, pretty face, flashing her charming, un-naturally white smile, trying to charm the judges with a non-answer. PU-leek, most people don't even know what inner strength or inner beauty is anymore. I am surrounded by it constantly and can't help but be sickened when others miss the mark so completely.

What They Don't Teach You in Nursing School

Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, just know that I LOVE BEING A NURSE! Now, that being said, on with my story...

Being a nurse, you know you are dealing with highly emotional and stressed out people. You expect to be verbally thrashed at times. As a new nurse you are completely taken off guard the first few times this happens, tear up, run out of the room, and say "They don't like me." After a year or so, the skin gets a little tougher and you are more confident in your skills and experience to forge ahead, no matter the reaction.

I work in a highly emotional specialty...pediatrics. I take care of babies born too early, cancer, transplants and other surgeries, asthmatics, sickle cell disease, heart issues, etc. You name it...I deal with it. Parents are stressed b/c they are scared and kids are stressed b/c, #1, we are constantly asking them to do something for us...pee in this cup, hold out your arm so I can draw blood, take this medicine, lay on your right side and don't move for 6 hours, etc. and #2 they are scared, also.

More often than not, nurses take the brunt of verbal abuse. I have heard from the mouths of babes, "You are mean", "You like hurting me", "I hate you" and I've even heard the "F" word out of a few. They lash out at us and that's ok, no offense taken. I understand, they are scared.

What's harder to take is when it's from a parent/family member. Especially a parent/family member that you have an established relationship with and have been working with for days, weeks, and sometimes years. This is when it once again stings and takes a moment for you to put what is happening into perspective.

A little background for my upcoming story...there is a bone marrow transplant tomorrow. To prepare for this, the child has already received mega doses of chemo over the last week or so, total body irradiation, permanent lines being placed, EKG's, and sometimes other unforeseen procedures. The night before transplant is when "the move" takes place. The child is placed into a negative pressure room (room that doesn't allow outside air in) and that's where they remain for the next 30 days or so. Usually, they bathe before they go, get a cloth dressing (we call it a t-shirt dressing) over their IV line, and move on over. Everyone, except the patient, wears gloves and masks into the room. Nothing is brought into the room unless it can be wiped down with a special antigerm spray. It's an intense time for patients and families.

Now that the background has been established...one of my tasks tonight was to prepare my patient for her bone marrow room. My tasks were: 1. Get her bath done and 2. Remove her IVs from her hands. Already that night, she endured 3 unsuccessful sticks to her Port-A-Cath (under the skin IV that is accessed with a special needle) in her chest b/c it wouldn't work earlier and it needed to be working before the needle could be left out for good (we don't leave them accessed usually b/c it requires a tape dressing and they shouldn't have tape on their skin). After all that torture, I gently told the family about what the plan was in getting the patient from point A to point B...bath and remove IVs. I can see a cloud come over gramma's face and a verbal tirade ensues. The stress that has been building up over the past few weeks pours out. Sure, it stings. I am a little taken back, but I remind myself that it's the stress talking. It does no good to try and defend my actions or justify any false accusations that she's making. Just listen...that's my job in this moment.

There is no class that can teach you, as the nurse, to deal with the frustrated families and patients. You just know in your head that it's not personal (most of the time) and you are the easiest person to vent to b/c you are the messenger or the performer of many of the dreaded procedures. Ever hear, don't shoot the messenger? A lot of "shooting the messenger" goes on in the nursing world.

Often, after tempers subside, apologies and hugs are offered by the family or patient. Explanations of upcoming procedures are even better received after all the stress is released. I am not yelled at often, but when I am, I remind myself to take a breath, listen, and remember it's not me they are attacking. Stress is an ugly thing and I can't imagine going through what any of patients and families are having to deal with. Kudos to all my little kids dealing with situations adults can barely handle and hugs to all my frazzled mammas and daddies (and other caretakers)!

Thursday Thirteen!

I'm getting on the Thursday 13 bandwagon! Here are a few interesting tidbits about me!

Thirteen Things about Chana 1. I am a pediatric nurse. I work with babies born too early, kids with cancer, and anything in between. 2. I have 2 Great Danes and 5 cats, if I had more room, I would have more animals! 3. My dad spent some of his childhood in Hawaii and consequently has introduced me to some interesting foods...Rock Salt Plum (basically a prune with a pit...sweet and salty at the same time), Li Hing Mui (dehydrated plum with pit..sweet taste..slightly salty), Salty Seeds (same as Li Hing Mui but very salty), Rock Salt Lemon (lemon rind left in rock salt in the sun for a while until they are brown and gooey...don't eat too much...send ya runnin' to the bathroom) 4. I have rarely been taller than anyone..I am only five feet tall...most of the patients I take care of are taller than me! 5. I have swam with the stingrays and Stingray City in Grand Cayman. Very cool and they were so soft and velvety. They swam over and around you like little puppies wanting a treat. 6. I went skiing for the first time last January in Breckenridge, CO. After I said the "f" word more than a couple times, I got the hang of it and loved it. 7. Clutter makes me nervous. If my kitchen counter, dresser, floor, etc. has too much "stuff" gathering, it makes me feel hectic and crazy inside and I gotta clear it off. 8. But, I'm not a clean freak. I like a clean house but if something else is going on that would be more fun, I'm there. 9. I call my "stepdad" my BONUS dad. I hate the word "step." He is more than a "stepdad", I love him like a second dad and therefore refer to him as my bonus! 10. I don't have car payments. 11. I need to get back in the gym. Not for weight loss reasons, just b/c I like to remain active. Damn this blogging! 12. I have brown, naturally curly hair...and I love it! 13. I believe everything happens for a reason! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Carmen Feathers IvoryFrog Mommy-at-home Norma Lauren Mandy Mar Leave a comment with your link and I will add you! Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

What's going on in that iPOD?

I am sitting here, enjoying an ice cold Saranac Pale Ale, surfing the net as is my usual schedule after working an all nighter. Today, I am searching for new tunes.
I always have a hard time answering the question, "What is your favorite type of music?" Truth is, I don't have a type. I can have Enya and Enigma gracing my airwaves one minute and have Godsmack or Nickelback rock them out the next.

Music is my expression. I don't play music, compose, or write lyrics, but I sure do like searching for the next prospective band or individual who can move my soul, mind, and yes, booty. I've got a song for every mood. I even have songs that remind me of individuals and times in my life...don't we all? Whenever I feel my words may fail me and I need to tell someone something, I will find the perfect song to help me out.

Here are the tunes that are dancing in my ears right now:

Lynden, melodic soul rock out of Nashville. I'm in love with their song "I'm on Fire." One of those bands that you just have to say, "You just need to listen for yourself." A band that immediately when I heard them sent me to their MySpace page (I originally heard them on a friend's profile).




Faktion, a new rock band out of Dallas. My friend bought their CD in the "New Bands" section at Target and said she thought of me when she listened to it. I have to admit, she knows me well. Their song, "Letting You Go", is one song dominating my MP3 player at the moment. I, personally, would've judged a book by the cover and thought they were some young, punk band professing how they hated life. I was pleasantly surprised when I actually heard melodies, words I understood, and lyrics that made sense.



Trickknee, honest, clean, well-rounded music out of Charleston, SC. That's right! My hometown! Not only that, but one of my high school friends is in the band! Their song, "Crawl", played over and over on my computer today. I actually heard them play live first..they rocked! In this day of manufactured singers and bands, I am always on the look out for those who are just as good live, if not better, as they are on CD! Nothing worse than going to a show and listening to off tune singing and a band that sounds like they have never played a musical note in their life. No worries of that with Trickknee, they are pure, true, unadulterated talent. Way to go boys!

What? Do I stink or something?

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Really? Many consider me a "best friend"? I sure don't feel that way lately. Perhaps, I just have too much time on my hands. I don't know, either way, today has been an introspective day. To find out why, visit MySpace and read my blog titled, "I've Got a Friend Who Loves Me." Go ahead, I'll wait. Back? Pitiful, little sob story, huh? I have these days where something I hear, see, or smell will trigger memories of the past. Sometimes, they send me on a path lined with feelings of jubilation and thoughts that I have had such wonderful experiences then there are times I veer off course and head towards "self pity", thinking "Those were good times, why did they have to end?" Right now, I'm on the path of self pity.

Aww...poor me....noone calls me to go out or just say hey--I've heard the gammut of excuses with this one: "You're married", "You work nights and I don't know when you sleep", "We didn't think you'd go there", or "You wear purple and I hate that color"--just kidding with that one, but that's how trivial it sounds to me at times. My cell phone has never been one to blow up and ring off the hook with friends just wanting to catch up or tell me the latest gossip..that's the story of my life..I'll say.."Did you hear Sue and Joe broke up?"--yeah like a month ago! WTF? Sometimes it feels like I am the last one to know things, hear about and get invited to events. My husband and I joke that noone ever comes to our house, which is true, but we are halfway being serious..passive aggressive maybe? I try not to take it personal, but sometimes it's hard not to! Hell, I can't even get but a couple to do bulletins I post on MySpace..and we all know how deep those are (wink, wink).

It's all just a funk I am in. Sometimes I do feel like I am struggling to "fit in" and be included with my friends. Am I not fun enough? Do I challenge people too much? Am I too much of a thinker? I am 27 years old..shouldn't I be at peace with who I am and past all these feelings of self doubt? That's ok, Ben and Jerry are always there for me when I need 'em and know just how to make me feel better!

"What does it all mean, Bazzle?"

I love blogging and surfing other people's blogs. It's all very fun and I am learning more about the computer than I ever thought I would understand. I have come a long way from the days when I was asking advice on how to get credits on BlogMad. I must've driven those people nuts that night on the shout box. Oh, but they were ever so patient with me. Still, I feel very accomplished with the fact that I changed my template, set up links (some even have buttons!), and placed a "Rent-my-blog" section. Wow! All I ever wanted to do was get on blogger, say a few things that constantly run through my mind, and have a few people who have been so luckly to stumble upon my site read what's going through my head at various moments.

Still, after learning how to do all that I still can't set up a BlogRoll or understand what RSS feed is! I have tried to set up the BlogRoll link numerous times and all it says when I click on it, is "Error on Page." WTF? What am I doing wrong? I want to link and be "blogrolled" but can't seem to get myself straight.

I don't know what RSS is, except that it has to do with syndication and increasing traffic? Hell, all I know is that I do have some type of syndication called ATOM...past that....I have...well, no idea.

Tagged? Do I want to be "tagged?" Thursday 13? What is all this? Am I way out of the loop? Should I know this stuff? Help me out people...I want to be part of the blogger "in-crowd!"

A Little Easter Humor

Although, Easter eggs and bunnies aren't the reason I celebrate Easter, I still find it fun to dye eggs and send the kids on Easter Egg hunts. I also didn't miss the humor in this! Happy Easter everyone!

Indesicisive? ME?

"Where do you want to eat?", he asks. "I don't care, where do you want to eat?", I say. "Outback," he answers. "No, there's nothing there I really like," I say, but not offering a suggestion b/c I honestly don't have any idea what I want. "Ok, how about, Olive Garden," he patiently suggests. "Um, no, doesn't sound good to me" I say as I sheepishly glance at him to see a frustrated look cloud his face. Oh Lord, I think, here it comes. "Damn, woman, what are you hungry for? Help me out?!" "Sorry," I tell him, " I really just don't know what I want."

The above is actual conversation between Jaime and I on numerous date nights. Yeah, I am a bit indecisive. I would rather like to think of myself as mysterious and unpredictable. I thought men were supposed to like that! I guess it's not such an attractive feature when bellies are empty and blood sugars are low.

Luckily, with my mom's help, we have solved the problem of deciding where to eat. Obviously, I can tell you where I DON'T want to go, so instead of asking "Where DO you want to eat?", ask "Where DON'T you want to eat?" I list my "do not want list" and from there he gets to pick.

Hey, it's worked so far and who knows, could've even saved my marriage. My mom's so smart.

Now, if I could only decide what to wear to dinner...

Umm..It was Blogging's fault!

Finally! One of my girlfriends is free for lunch during the week! Not just any girlfriend, but the one who is a single mom to 3 and attending undergrad classes in prep for law school. Her time is precious and I am getting a piece! I felt so honored...no, I am being serious. She is one of my good friends from high school and conversation is always interesting and fulfilling.

On Wednesday, we made a lunch date for 12:30 on Friday. OMG...what do I wear? how do I do my hair? I get to wear makeup...YES! You'd think I had never been out in public before. I had big plans for the day. I would get up, give the dogs plenty of attention, beautify myself, go to lunch, and then go get my passport photo and other non-fun but essential errands. I went to bed ecstatic and set my alarm for 9.

Instead of waking up to the buzzing of an alarm, I woke up to Atlas (one my Danes) whining. Never a good sign. Usually means I have slept too long. I looked at my clock...9:10. Ok, we're good. I get up and glance at my husband's clock...12:10. What??? I ran downstairs and checked the other clocks...hoping they would agree with MY clock. Nope! Damn! So much for my hopes and dreams of beauty for the day! I hurriedly got dressed, texted my friend-"I'm still coming--overslept and not b/c I had fun last night either..tell ya later", fed and medicated the dogs, slapped on a hat, attempted to make myself look less like "I just woke up..sorry" with a bit of mascara and blush, and was out the door at 12:30.

I arrived by 1:00 and had a great lunch and even better conversation. I had to fess up that I was late b/c I hadn't gotten to bed until 3 a.m. due to blogging and my body apparantly thought sleep was more important than my need for human interaction. Luckily, she is a "my-spacer" and fully understood. Always nice to have common ground, dontcha think?

Woo Hoo...I have a renter!!

How excited am I at this very moment? Well, for lack of a better word or phrase, VERY. I have a renter! I can't say "new renter" yet b/c she is my first. That's right...no longer a virgin to the "rent my blog" game. So, does that make me a blogging whore now?? Eh..whatever..I'll accept the title, after all I am allowing someone to use my space for "cyber money."

Anyway, make sure you check Erin out over at Pupsickle. Stories from Alaska! Cool! I mean, you have to have some good ones when it's 21 degrees in April!

Scroll on down and click her! Erin, hope your stay is good as you hoped it would be! I'll be right down the hall, let me know if you need anything....

Let's Face It..I Need Change

I can't stand being in the same place, same routine, same anything, for that matter, for too long. I gotta have change. It's a wonder I have been with my husband 9 years (married 5 of them). Not saying he's boring, I just have a habit of needing to change things up once in a while. I'm not ADD or anything, but I get so bored when things become stagnant. I don't even paint my walls anything but neutral b/c I know if I do, I'm stuck with it. Paint 'em neutral than I can change the things around it. I think it's genetic. My grandmother is the queen of changing the decor and furniture arrangement in her house. Good thing none of us are blind, her house would be a health hazard for us.

A 9-5, 5 day a week job would definitely not work for me. I like being in the position I'm in and having complete control over my schedule. I like change so much that not only am I able to change the days I work however I want, I work on different floors each time I'm there. Keeps it exciting and interesting. Maybe one day I'll have a routine. I suppose I really do, I have a routine of being non-routine.

So, that being said, it should come as no surprise that I changed my template...again. I actually changed it twice tonight. The first change had a really cool graphic that drew me in, but that was really the only visually interesting part about it. I need visual stimulation. Yeah, I know that content is more important than appearance, but let's face it, the blog world is no different than the real world. The more attractive you are, the more attention you get.

I am still tinkering and tweaking. I know, the sidebar still says, "Insert Tagboard...." and I am waiting to find a cool tagboard or some other such thing to insert there. Well, once I learn how!
Be patient, stick around, slowly but surely I am learning. Hell...I finally learned how to insert my BLOGMAD button tonight and linking it to my referral code and not Photobucket!

Putting It Into Perspective

http://kcsun3.tripod.com/id210.htm

Ahhhh...finally getting to sit down! Not something a nurse on a Pediatric Sub-Speciality unit gets to do very often. There is always chemo to be hung, blood products to infuse, urine to measure, IV medicines to give, and some type of bodily fluid that needs testing. Don't forget the child who is alone and needs entertaining or closer observation...challenge enough on day shift, but night shift calls for creative thinking. Many a child have ended up at the nurse's desk for dance contests, coloring sessions, and naps in a makeshift crib in an oversized wagon.

My feet were aching and I was just catching my breath and then I hear it. The call bell. That undeniable, persistent ringing! I go towards the sound and pick up the receiver, "Can I help you?", I try to say invitingly. "I GOTTA GO POTTY!", a frantic, little voice says. "Ok, I'm coming, " I say back to her in my best little girl voice (which isn't too hard for me).

I enter her room and she's doing the pee-pee dance while sitting in the bed. "Let's go," I gently and playfully encourage her. She gets out of the bed and I maneuver the pole behind her in such a way to avoid pulling her IV lines, while giving her enough room to do what she's gotta do. Very expertly, she slides her pink dance leotard with pink and silver sparkle ballet skirt around her IV lines and hops on the potty. I hold her IV lines protruding from her chest up out of her way. This precious little pale skinned, bald headed, bright eyed, freckled nose little girl. Fighting for her life while playing dress up in a pink ballet leotard and draping her ankles and one of her wrists in colorful, oversized plastic bead jewelry. "I like your anklets and bracelet," I tell her. "Yeah, I made one for each foot, " she beams, "and I have one bracelet, I don't have one for this one though, I have to make one."

She pulls her leotard back up, getting it twisted a bit and one of her anklets falls off. "Oops,"she says, as she steps back into it as I hold it up for her. We straighten her leotard and head back back to bed. No sleep yet ! She's found a prize on the way back! A real syringe that the nurses use. Oh boy! "Can you squirt the stuff out for me so I can play with it?", she pleads. "Of course, " I say as I empty the saline into the sink. How can I resist such a cute little face and an even sweeter voice???

I hand the syringe over, she thanks me, and I head back to the desk to check the medication record to see who needs meds next. These children I have the pleasure of interacting with are so amazing. They have faced more adversity in their few short years than most adults have or will ever face. They fight a daily battle to stay healthy and alive. Yet, they don't act sick or say "I can't b/c I'm sick." They are still dancing at the desk with the nurses, coloring pictures, dressing up, making jewelry, and most of the time giving love, hugs, and smiles.

I sit here feeling sorry for myself after a busy night at the hospital and feeling spread too thin. Then I remember ALL the children that have and will enhance my life. The hiliarous comments they make (a very well spoken 2 year old once told me, "OOOOH, Don't you cut your eyes at me," when I rolled my eyes playfully at her after she said something funny), the pictures and jewelry they make for us, the pride they display when they get to flush their line, and ultimately getting to see them happy to go home after a hospital stay.

I DO LOVE being a pediatric nurse and I find it hugely rewarding. My families and kids are amazing and have taught me so much about loving life and enjoying every moment you have been given! I have shed both happy and sad tears, but in either case I am grateful to have been touched by the little angels. Thank you to my 7B patients!

Beauty, Love, Harmony

Sounds like words you hear from hippies or a beauty pageant contestant, right? While that may be true, these words are also key words in the description of a Libra (no need to describe me in this blog, read the link!). I am not into tarot cards, psychics, or astrology as a whole or as a way to live my life, but I do read horoscopes and descriptions of the signs once in a while just out of curiosity. I simply find it interesting. I hardly believe that we are bound to a life of, in my case, of indecisive-ness and an endless search for balance and beauty. We are all individuals and can control the aspects of our personalities and how we interact with others on a day to day basis.

Here's my belief: I choose who I am. I have been given the ultimate gift of free will by God. While He created me and had an idea of who He wanted me to be, he also gave me the choice to go His way or mine/the world's. Perhaps, being born under the alignment of different stars and planets may have influenced aspects of my personality, how am I to know? Maybe that was all part of His plan. I won't know until I move on to Heaven and ask Him myself. However, I do know that I didn't read anything about zodiac signs or the description of a Libra until late in high school and I was amazed at how much it described aspects of my personality! However, I didn't use that to say, "Oh, that's just who I am destined to be." I simply said, "AHHHH....interesting."

For me, seeing my personality described so accurately in hard copy has helped me to recognize the positives and negatives. I don't think any of us are locked into being "gullible or easily influenced" or "indecisive and changeable"---a few negative descriptions of a Libra. We choose to grow or stay stagnant. Personally, I want to continue to blossom and nurture new buds of personal growth. I am on a constant quest of becoming who GOD ultimately wants me to be, not what some astrologer says I should be b/c I was born on October 16, 1978.

Mishi-Mishi-Moo!

Dear Pop-Pop,
The weather is warm, the flowers are blooming, the gardens are growing, and I think of you when I smell fresh cut grass or see a fat, red, ripe tomato. It's funny how a smell, a sound, or a texture can make us remember someone or something. I am introducing the world to you. Everyone should know what a beautiful, selfless, fiercely independent, and passionate man you were. I love you more than words will ever be able to do justice. World...meet my Pop-Pop....

There are those people you meet and forget, then there are those that you meet that you are absolutely captured by. They steal your heart and touch you in such a way that you know when they are gone there will be a huge void. That's my Pop-Pop. I sit here now and tears softly roll down my cheeks. Pop-Pop was the type of man that wanted to see everyone happy. Whether it was cooking a delicious meal,building cash register scanners from wood, or sharing the fruits of his labor from his garden, he wanted everyone to have a smile on their face. He supported each and every whim, no matter how trivial or how much work it may take. He painted the kitchen whatever color my grandmother wanted, changed the countertops, put in different floors, built a deck...you said you wanted something, you got it! Although, he drew the line at getting a pool...

Pop-Pop was the most SELFLESS man I have ever known. He was a young, hot Navy man traveling the world, enjoying freedom, and exotic women in every port. No responsibilities except himself. Then he met my grandmother and her 4 little girls. Most men would have ran the other way. Not my Pop-Pop. Instead, his heart melted and he fell in love with my grandmother and her 4 little girls. He took them into his heart and protective embrace as if they were his own flesh and blood. He was more than a father, he was a DADDY. Father's are the ones that donate the DNA, but daddies are the ones that guide, protect, love unconditionally, and encourage. they have a genuine desire to see you happy and doing well. He was the very definition of Daddy and Grand-daddy.

He never took himself too serious as you can tell by the pictures. He was a ham! He got such a kick out of Mandy and I and the things we made up. I never lived down "Who ever saw a man eat a hat?", a Laurel and Hardy routine from their movie "Way Out West." He always asked Mandy to say "Mishi-Mishi-Moo", her word for Mitsubishi.

His girls were his pride and joy. He loved them in a way that it moved him to tears, loved his grandchildren with equal fervor, and couldn't get enough of his only great-grandchild, Tyler. While he was stubborn man when it came to slowing down his activity level due to his heart, sometimes cranky and impatient with idiotic drivers or lights that took too long to change, he was a marshmallow inside and full of emotion, a book about the Navy would move him to tears. Weddings were definitely off limits. He embraced our husbands, but lovingly referred to all boyfriends as "Chester" until we married.

Give, Give, Give and ask nothing in return. Whether it was taking me on base to grocery shop or tolerating my dogs, he enjoyed seeing us happy no matter the cost to him. We were at the commissary one time and he was buying treats for Rosie (my grandmother's cat) and I said, "I thought you didn't like cats," he looked at me and said, "But Mamama does." I thought how very cool it was that the happiness of my grandmother was more important than his fear of cats.

My Pop-Pop. A selfless man with a bottomless heart filled with nothing but love. Passionate about nature and a gentle soul. I miss him but I know he is enjoying his garden in heaven and his body is whole and his heart will never give out. He sends us signs on a daily basis to let us know that he is watching over us. The martin's are nesting at mom's and my banana plants are thriving. He is encouraging us to live our lives to the fullest and without regret. Thank you to my Pop-Pop for being in our lives and loving us with all your heart and then some!!!

7 Deadly Sins Quiz and Thoughts about Work

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

According to this quiz I am bordering on "lazyass." I'm really not, I just enjoy my time off! My theory is I work hard when I am there, put in the hours I NEED to support my lifestyle, and then it's playtime. I do put in OT every now and then, but I really am not a career driven person, nor have I ever been. I guess my definition of work is a little different than the quiz had in mind. I work hard at having and enjoying a LIFE! Work is not my life, I work to have a life. And I'm through!

Hi, I'm Chana and I'm a Bloggoholic

I spent all day on myspace today. I know, what a life. Well, I do have an excuse. I worked all night last night and usually sleep for a couple hours when I get home. Well, I wanted to blog and learn how to make it prettier instead of sleep.

My friend, Jen, invited me to her myspace and I said, "What the hell, I'll try it too." Check it out, I found a layout and it's pretty, I added pictures, music, and even a CUSTOMIZED blog!! It's very self explanatory and I like it alot better, except for the posting pics to blogs. They have to have a URL and I just am not there yet. Time to learn Photobucket or something.

Off to search for graphics. I found the above but it is made for myspace and therefore I must copy to computer and it loses it's neon glow effect. Still cute I suppose. One of these days it'll be fun to look back at what a novice I am!

Still Clueless

www.cartoonclipart.com

The more I surf different blogs, the more I am dissatisfied with mine. I really want a customized, pretty little blog where I can add cool images and make it fun to look at. Express myself. Use some creative energy! I just don't understand all the terms thrown at me..html, FTP this, and CSS that. WTF???--I DO know what that means! I come, I type, I click on publish and there you go. I do know how to add pics and links though! I am posting at work tonight, so no pics for ya right now. I did add some on the pup's website:
http://www.addisondanes.blogspot.com

I had a busy day. Life never stops does it?? Always something to do. I had a 2 hour competency class to attend after I worked a 12 hour night shift. Ah, competencies. A time when I get to go demonstrate how smart I am and show off the skills I have. If I worked on one unit, I would only get to do this once. BUT, I work on 8 different units and I get to do it at least twice a year. Oh! and there are always different classes for new machines they are bringing to the hospital, new IV catheters, new gizmos to hold the IV's in place, new tubing, etc. Such fun! It never ends...
So, I showed the ladies this morning that I can assemble a breast pump--heaven forbid I screw that up---and I can tape an umbilical vein IV catheter correctly--actually I didn't even show I could, I just watched. Either way, those competencies are done for a year. Bring on the next one...I can do anything now that I can correctly put together a breast pump!

I got my first "mean" comment today on the pup's blog. The Trollmeister pretty much told me he wished he hadn't even wasted time on reading the blog. Well, I wish he hadn't either. Sorry to waste your precious time that you obviously value so highly. Told me it was DULL. Eh, whatever. Guess he missed the point of it's creation. I went to his blog and really find much interesting there, either. To each their own I was once told when I started this whole blogging mess. We are all interesting in our own minds.....

Just a taste

Hello all! Should I give up all the details now or give you bits and pieces here and there to keep you coming back for more?? Hmmm...decisions, decisions. It's like the dating game...does a girl play hard to get when she really might be head over heels in like/love or does she just go ahead and let the guy know she is really interested. It's all a game. Glad I'm out of that. One of the many perks of marriage...no more dating. Well, I guess some still date while they are married, but as for me, I am done! I look around when we are out and see all the games people are playing with one another and just think, "Thank you Lord for getting me out of that mess."

I married when I was 22. He was 25. I am now 27. I work as a pediatric nurse here in Charleston, SC at MUSC. I was a labor and delivery nurse for 2 years before I switched to peds. I love it and can't imagine ever going back to work with adults. My husband is an aspiring business owner in the speed and performance business. Cars are his passion but right now his job as an Electrical Engineering Technician with the defense contractor EMA pays the bills.

We have 2 Great Danes and 5 cats. No, we don't have a huge house (1600 sq. ft) or a huge yard (it's enough). The Danes take over the couches, sleep in our king size bed with us, and only take about 30-60 minutes of moderate exercise to get good and tired. They are our children!!!

There's a small morsel for you. Savor it. I promise to start sprucing the place up a bit and make it more visually exciting. I am still learning! For now, I have to go make myself presentable so I don't scare the little children tonight! Curly hair can look quite frightening when untamed!